My Spring Break!

So, I did not get to go to San Diego unfortunately, but that doesn’t mean I won’t go in the future! Probably when Catalina is about 4 years old so she can enjoy it and hopefully remember it. Although I did not go, I still enjoyed it with my friends!

The Sunday before spring break actually started, I went to Galveston with a friend from college. I planned on tanning, but the weather had other plans (eyeroll at Texas) so my friend, Brandon, and I just walked around the area which was nice since the only part of Galveston I ever visited was the beach (which sucks lol.) We ended the day with eating at The Spot, yum!

On Wednesday, my friend Anna and I went to Houston. We visited the Japanese garden and then went to the Museum of Fine Arts where we also saw the Ron Mueck exhibit. I definitely recommend going to visit the exhibit if y’all are in the Houston area, it was awesome! Our stomachs were in need of some food, so we headed to Torchy’s Tacos to pig out. Our pigging out wasn’t over yet though, on our way to the car we saw a ice cream sandwich truck called Smoosh where I got my peanut butter brownie ice cream topped with marshmallows in between two delicious chocolate chip cookies. *drools*

Early Friday morning, Anna and I hopped in the car to go to Dallas. What could one possibly want in Dallas when they live in the amazing Houston area you may ask? 😉 Six Flags of course! We got there around 9:50 A.M. after going 100mph literally almost the whole way there. Thankfully I’m an awesome driver haha! We only rode about 6 rides because of the lines, but they were great! All f the rides in Gotham are the best. We started off with the Texas Giant and ended with Mr. Freeze. I LOVE ROLLER-COASTERS!

The rest of my days consisted of visiting some friends from my old job and going to the store with my mom. Oh, and of course CrossFit! Now all I have left to do is study for my midterms since apparently ours are after spring break and not before like everyone else. I hope all students out there enjoyed their spring break! Y’all wish me luck in my exams 🙂

-K

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Crossfit!

Like I mentioned in my previous post, I loooove going to crossfit! It’s like my me time and such a great stress reliever. I’m sure there’s a crossfit location like literally everywhere, so if you’re interested you can just look one up on Google maps!

The crossfit location I go to offers free morning sessions every Saturday at 9 A.M. so that’s when I go since I don’t have the money right now to be paying for a membership lol. Definitely call your local crossfit to see what they offer. The workouts are up to an hour long, but can sometimes be around 40 minutes. For that entire time it’s like non-stop movement and it’s so tough yet amazing at the same time. All or almost all of the workouts can be personally adjusted for wherever you’re at.

The image I included was this past Saturday’s workout and it was definitely an arm killer. It was with a partner (which most of the workouts are, yay!) and it was for a total of 35 minutes, not including the warm up. So if you finished all parts of the workout before the time was up, you got to do it again 🙂 You and your partner split up the workout however yall want where yall both end up doing close to half and half. My partner and I only managed 2 rounds, and even though I wanted to quit during every part of this workout I kept at it. The feeling of accomplishment is what I love the most.

Some examples of adjustments I can give involving this workout are:

  • box jumps: since I’m still fairly new to crossfit (I’ve only gone about 10 times I think?) I just do box step ups
  • wall ball shots: instead of using a 14lb wall ball, I’ll use a 6lb or 8lb. Slowly moving to higher weights! I did use the 14lb for the running though.
  • push press and thrusters: literally everyone used only the bar for both of these which is 15lbs (excluding 2 people who put weights on) since we had to hold it up while our partner did half of their workout.

I can’t forget to mention the crossfit games which are currently going on right now! I just found out about it this year and I am so excited to try for next year. It’s an annual thing where people all over the world who are in crossfit compete with each other to get the fastest time on the workouts given. It looks soooo hard, so I need to get to training! I’m stocked about it though 🙂

To all the mom’s, dad’s, students, basically everyone out there, remember to have some “you” time even if it’s not working out. It’ll keep you sane!

-K

Hell Week

Oh man, am I exhausted. I swear I feel like I just had a preview of finals week. After having a test every day this week, along with a quiz and experiment due, I can definitely say I am SO ready for the weekend. My grades weren’t what I was hoping, (and yes, my professors basically grade the same day lol) but at least I didn’t fail! I even had some friends tell me that they got their grade back up after receiving a 30% on their first test. Whoa. I’m super glad my grades were B’s and C’s, but I know I need to get all of them up to at least a high B.

Here are some semi-fun plans I have for the weekend:

Friday: Yes, tomorrow counts as a weekend day for me 😉 I just have a regular dentist appointment, and I’m hoping I can discuss my chances of getting braces because I have been in need of them for a long time. I also have a chipped molar from when I was about 14/15 and my cousin and I were on 4-wheelers when I accidentally crashed into her. Thankfully I landed in between the tires and not under them 🙂 Sooo I also have to get that fixed. It sucks that I don’t have dental insurance $$$ 😦

Saturday: My morning starts off with Crossfit! I love going to Crossfit, and I’ll probably make a separate blog from my experience so far. I LOVE the time it gives me to myself and it’s a huge stress reliever. Later in the day I have some plans to visit my friends at my old job since they love seeing Catalina and I love seeing them haha. Friends are the best.

Sunday: Since Sunday is Catalina’s dad’s day off, he’ll have her for the day (which means after 2 P.M. probably.) She’s finally not sick so maybe we can go out and do something before her dad picks her up. Once I’m alone, I might start working on some future school projects just to get ahead. Any possible ideas on what I could do with myself when Catalina is gone? I usually drive myself crazy pacing back and forth.

I hope y’all enjoy the weekend! 🙂

-K

Freedom

I am the happiest I’ve been in a while. Although my relationship with my Catalina’s dad is over, I’m glad I’m out of it because it was just SO toxic and unhealthy. I do still love him, but who he is now isn’t who I married.

During our years together, trust came and went until it finally disappeared, and with that came insecurity and arguments. I wasn’t allowed to talk to any guys, not even those I worked with. And what was so weird is that he only had a problem with me, not the guys. I was never unfaithful to him and I was always committed, but when he lost my trust I somehow managed to lose his as well.

Now that we’re separated I feel so free, I can talk to people and have normal conversations without feeling guilty. I should’ve never felt guilty in the first place. I’ve realized that in a healthy relationship, there shouldn’t be silly rules as to who we are able to talk or not talk to (unless of course they actually pose a threat in the relationship.) I no longer have to deal with lies, staying up late at night waiting for him to get home as he drinks and parties, waking up early with my daughter just to see him sleep till 30 minutes before he went to work, and especially the stress.

In the first years of our relationship he always said how he wanted to marry me and have a family, but apparently when the “having a family” time came, he no longer wanted to participate. He only really wanted my daughter in her happy times. I even remember him threatening me to take her away after she was done with diapers and basically all the hard phases in her life. I’m appalled at all the things he has put me through and me doing nothing about it. I’m glad I’ve realized my self-worth though. From verbal abuse, to some physical abuse (which he denies because he never actually “punched” me) and even mental abuse. Everyone should learn to love themselves and be happy with themselves before actually starting a serious relationship, because no one ever deserves to be treated like garbage. There is someone out there for everyone, and finding them isn’t going to be easy. Honestly, you shouldn’t even look for them, they’ll come to you even if you don’t know it at the moment. Much love to those who read this blog. Remember to stay happy, life is beautiful. 🙂

-K

San Diego

I need a break from everything. And guess what’s coming up? Spring break! My dream is to travel, I mean, who’s isn’t right? So far the only place I’ve gone to that’s out of my state (and country) is Cozumel, which was awesome. I’m not skipping places in the U.S. though, so I started planning out a mini vacation to take during spring break, and what better place to go to than Cali! I can smell the beaches now, and they smell way better than Galveston hah. I’m going to list some pros and cons for myself really quick, just to keep myself organized ;p

Pros:

  • It’s cheap!
  • New experiences
  • Seaworld and the zoo
  • Time for myself and daughter 🙂
  • Faaa-bulous beaches and sun time

Cons:

  • The flight leaves at 9pm and doesn’t arrive until almost midnight. Catalina’s usual bedtime is 8pm so I’m hoping she’ll pull through!
  • My mom is freaking out about all the things that could go wrong (which could happen here) and is freaking me out in the process
  • Catalina is currently sick. It’s been almost 2 weeks and I’m not sure how long it’ll last, hopefully it’ll be over by March
  • Catalina won’t be able to remember it, so part of me wants to wait till she gets older to start travelling.

So, my cons seem to outweigh the pros in a way.. but if I do go, I need to hurry and buy the tickets before they get more expensive :/

What are your thoughts? Let me know in the comments!

-K

 

Kid N’ Play

One of my favorite places to take Catalina is to Kid N’ Play. She loves being around other kids and playing with them. I was super shy growing up, so exposing her to other people is a must to me. We don’t get to go out much because of my school schedule, but I try to take her at least once every other week. It’s important to me to get her to interact with others, and I love seeing how happy it makes her! Of course, momma has to be there with her or else she’ll have a panic attack *slight eyeroll* but that’s fine because it just makes me feel more loved haha.

The Kid N’ Play that I go to (I’m not sure if they’re all the same) is super cute! They have miniature houses that each represent a different place- a restaurant, salon, firefighter station, and even a grocery store with mini grocery carts! Which are probably the cutest things I have ever seen. There’s also an indoor playground, similar to what they would have at McD’s, but way better quality. Awesome way to get your little one active, and I’ll get up there with her too because who doesn’t love tall slides ;P  And to top it off, if you feel a little peckish they have food and drinks you can buy! (free pizza on Friday’s, yay!)

It’s great to be able to take your kids out, along with yourself. Moms don’t just stay at home all day, and they shouldn’t have to feel like they have to. If that was the case, I’m sure we would all be crazy for now. Even a walk down the street or playing outside in the front yard will be enough to get your little ones out into the fresh air. It feels nice to be able to spend that time with your child away from typical distractions in our society like cell phones and other electronics. I’m guilty when it comes to cell phones because sometimes I’ll just feel so tired and bored that I’ll go straight to my phone, but it’s important to know that your kids are watching you to see if you’re paying attention to whatever silly thing they’re doing to get a reaction; and time goes by too fast to miss any moment that could be spent with them, even if it’s the same exact thing yall do every day. Hug your little ones every day and never forget to show them love.

-K

Parents are Wonderful

I am beyond glad that I have my parents in my life. I know that there are some situations where parents will treat their kids like crap, so I feel lucky. My parents are not perfect and I’m sure we’ve gotten into a million fights, but when I really start to think about it, I realize that they’ve given me everything I needed and more. They came to the U.S. as immigrants, and in the world’s current situation, I’m so proud of them for all that they have gone through to get to where they are. I won’t bring politics into this blog because it would be full of rants hah, but the point I was trying to make is that they have been there for me in every situation. They let my daughters father move in before I got pregnant because he was having problems with his family. About 2 months later it happened, but him moving in didn’t have anything to do with it since we were sexually active before that. When I found out I was pregnant, I was so scared and the first thing I thought was abortion. I feel so ashamed saying that now, but I felt like I would disappoint my parents by having a child at a young age. So I didn’t tell them. I went to my appointments during the lunch hour we had at school. Once I was in my third trimester, I was finally starting to show (I’m rather small and always wore t-shirts so you could never tell.) One day I was washing dishes and my mom just came out and asked me, and I simply said yes. She was ecstatic, and once I told her it was a girl she almost burst of happiness. So that knocked out the news for my parents since I knew she would tell my dad. He, of course, showed no real emotion since that’s just how he is, but he loves my daughter. They let us stay in the house, and my dad even went out of his way to expand my room (he’s a construction worker, perks!) Through all of the problems I’ve faced with my daughter’s father, they’ve always been there to let me know that they would help with anything I need. From baby clothes, to food, to other basic needs, they would always support me through it. In my current situation with having baby daddy moved out, possible divorce, and feeling like my life is falling apart, I’m glad I have my parents. Make sure you appreciate yours. They love you.

-K

P.S. Sorry for the late post!

Your Baby’s Father (and mine)

I know every relationship is different, but I feel like I made a mistake with mine. My daughter’s father and I met in the 7th grade. By 8th grade I felt this sort of connection with him, and it went all throughout high school. He was different, you could tell he dealt with a lot of problems, possibly at home. I felt this need to help him, and I guess that’s the first part where I went wrong. I wanted to make him happy and I did feel love for him. 10th grade was when we started our actual relationship. I was ecstatic. I loved his smile and his sense of humor and just seeing him happy made my heart flutter. Of course every relationship has its up and downs. Our downs began with trust issues when I caught him in his first lie (and about a girl, how fantastic for that to happen in your teenage years huh?) I still stayed with him. Because I wanted to be with him. Fast-forward a few months, he brought up sex. I’ve always wanted to wait until marriage because of my religion and because it seemed like the ideal thing to do. He basically pressured me, and that was a flag I missed. After the first time, he didn’t really have to pressure me about it since I thought “Well I already did it once, why not continue if it makes him happy.” He isn’t religious, but still he said that for our marriage he would be willing to get baptized (if that even made a difference) and I thought to myself “Wow, he’s willing to do anything to be with me.” We always talked about marriage before I fell pregnant, so when I did get pregnant I automatically told him that I wanted to be married before I had our baby. Again, as if that would make a difference *big eyeroll at myself.* So we got married. He didn’t get baptized, which I didn’t really expect him too anyways. When you get married, it’s a commitment, you work through everything life throws at you. In between our marriage and now, there have been more lies and actions that have caused me to lose more trust.  His actions recently caused him to get kicked out of the house (since we lived at my parents) and since then we’ve still had problems and have solved some. But currently, I don’t even feel loved anymore. The feeling is gone. There is no effort being put in to see me. He sees our daughter simply because he has t watch her while I go to school. But that’s really it. I’m not happy in this “relationship” if it can even be called that. I’m coming second to friends and drinking along with my daughter. And it’s the most depressing thing I could go through.

So let me end this post by saying, no matter how deep in love you think you are with your significant other, don’t be so quick to marry them. People change, feelings change, priorities change. Give yourself time. Find yourself first, and when your significant other finds themselves, then decide if who they become is who you want to be with. Your child does not need you and your significant other to be together. As a child of two parents who always fought, I can say that I would’ve rather had my parents separated and happy instead of together and miserable.

If any mama’s are going through tough times whether it be in your relationship or some other problem, remember to stay strong.

-K

 

Tackling High School and College

Let’s be honest. High school by itself is like living a nightmare. Adding pregnancy along with the hormones and drama that comes with it just makes getting through high school a lot worse. Luckily, I was about halfway through with my senior year when I got pregnant. Unfortunately, there are some girls that get pregnant when they are younger (this was my mother-in-law!) If you’re this girl, don’t sweat it. The most important thing I learned in high school, which I wish I would’ve learned sooner, is that what other people think doesn’t matter when you know that what you’re doing is right. The rumors that immature kids might spread about you don’t matter when you know what the truth is. You don’t have to prove yourself to anyone. This goes to all the teenagers that aren’t pregnant also. Everyone in high school will do these things to try to get to the “top” and overall make themselves feel better about themselves.

It is hard to avoid these things when you’re pregnant though, those hormones are no joke. But try to focus on your education, health, and the health of your baby. Those “friends” who want to stick around will stick around no matter what. Those who don’t were never your friends. It’s tough losing friends, but who needs toxic people who aren’t looking out for you anyways, right? As far as your education goes, please please PLEASE don’t drop out. It is so much harder to go back to get your GED then it is to just finish what you’ve already started (I don’t have experience in this, but it’s what I’ve heard from many teen moms.)

If you’ve already graduated high school, then congratulations! Next step is getting into college. I gave birth in August, and honestly I was not ready for college. I skipped the fall semester to focus on taking care of my daughter and to try to get some sleep! The first few months after birth are the hardest in my opinion- hungry baby eating every 2 hours=no sleep. Halfway through the spring semester I thought to myself, “I don’t want to waste anymore time.” and so I looked at my options and began taking classes online as mini semesters. Oh how I wish I would’ve thought of that sooner! Taking classes online through the last part of the spring semester and the upcoming summer made things so easy since I could balance taking care of my daughter and school work all at home. This last fall semester I actually went to campus since the classes I needed weren’t offered online- no biggie since my daughter was a year old by then. Now all I have left is a tough, and I mean TOUGH, spring semester to get through before I get my associates in health science (I go back this week ah!) I’m so excited and so proud that I am about to graduate. My grades haven’t been all A’s as I would’ve hoped, science classes are super difficult, but a few B’s won’t kill me! A whole new journey waits for me after I get my associates, but for now I have to focus on the present. Good luck to all students in college and to all the mama’s in college!

-K

Beating the Statistics- Welcome

I know I’m not the only teen mom out there, so this blog is going out to all of the young mothers. Let me introduce myself. My name is Kathie and I am 19 years old. I got pregnant at age 17 and gave birth when I was 18, so by doing the math my daughter is about a year and a half. Yes, that’s my sweet pea in the picture above when she was about 9 months.

I’m sure you all know, or will know soon, how uncomfortable it is to walk around with your belly popping out and wondering how many people may be judging you. No mater how many friends and family members may support you, there will always be complete strangers who will look your way with the most disgusting looks on their face. Even after you give birth, you will be questioned on your age. They know you’re young, obviously, but they’ll still ask to act surprised and tell you how young you are- as if you didn’t already know. It’s mostly the older generation that believes they have the right to make these comments when they know nothing about your life. Let me tell you though, those passive aggressive comments and judgments do not define who you are and never will.

Motherhood is not easy. It’s a different challenge everyday- the tears, the tantrums, the sleepless nights, and the stress from trying to balance taking care of a child, work, and school. But being able to watch your child grow, see their first gummy smile, hear that first cheerful giggle, and all the lovely memories that are yet to come makes it all worth it. The time passes by so quickly that you’ll go from having a tiny baby that you roll into a burrito to having a walking miniature person around the house. Enjoy every moment.

Everyone who has thrown judgment at you do not know the struggles you are going through, and if they do know then they have no business judging you. It’s much easier to have a child after you finish college and have your career set, which is why it is ideal to wait till your older. That’s not always the plan though- in my case, God’s plan, but I’m not here to throw religion at you. I am here to give out my story so you all know that you are not alone. Motherhood will take a lot of energy out of you. It’s okay to cry sometimes. You’ll get through it all. Finish college. Work to provide for your child. Most importantly, be there for your child. Play with them, teach them, feed them, show them your love. Take breaks if you have to. Just know that YOU will NOT be a statistic. Screw all of the judgments.

-K